C29 - Soul-ed MATE

It takes a few taut minutes to convince Jin that these guys aren’t going to hurt us. At least, not physically.

Both of them have the power to wreck us emotionally, though Hoseok would swear that isn’t true. But he looks pale as Minho demands to know why he didn’t return the calls.

“And why hasn’t your phone been on?”

His eyes narrow. “How do you know it’s been off?”

“Because I had it traced,” Minho says flatly. “And there was no signal. None at all.”

“I can’t believe you had me tracked like an animal! And that’s why it was off. Because you’re insane.”

“I wouldn’t have to track you if you didn’t do this.” He makes a rough slash with his hand.

“Do what?”

“Run off to the slums with your friend in some kind of psychotic sleepover.”

“Harsh,” I say, stung on Hoseok’s behalf.

He gives me a hard look before turning back to Hoseok. “We’ll discuss this outside. Alone.”

Then they leave, and it’s only Namjoon and me in the shitty hotel room. There’s a half-empty bottle of Coke on the nightstand. Textbooks stacked with fashion magazines on the small table. Psychotic sleepover isn’t that far off.

“God, Jimin,” Namjoon says, his voice lower than I remember. Overall, he looks harder, leaner. He’s always been fit; being captain of the rowing team has its compensations. But there was a boyishness to his face. That’s gone now.

“I’ve been looking for you,” he says, sounding tormented. I shift, uncomfortable.

“You know it’s over between us.”

“I made a mistake,” he says, taking my hand. “When I found out about your father, thinking about what it would do for my career. Then my dad making his fcuking ultimatums.”

My heart squeezes in remembered grief as I’d realized how little I meant to him. We had said I love you to each other. We had promised to marry each other. And he had turned his back at the first sign of trouble.

“It was a difficult time for everyone,” I say, trying to be kind. It’s for the best that we found out then that we wouldn’t work out. Better that than finding out after we said I do.

“I had time to think about it.” He stalks away, muttering a curse. “And then the auction.”

Looking at Namjoon now, he does seem harder than before.

Stronger.

He turns to face me, his expression resolute. “Jimin, I know I failed you before. I love you, and I let you down. I’m going to make it up to you, if you’ll let me. And I’ll never leave you again.”

I take an instinctive small step back, dismayed by the strange allure of him. He represents my old life, the one I’ve left behind.

A small voice whispers, ‘you’ll get some of it back.’

“I don’t know,” I say, shaking my head.

“Just talk to me,” he says, voice low. “Sit with me. Don’t kick me out. That’s all I’m asking. I know we have a long way to go until you trust me again.”

I look down, on the verge of unexpected tears. Even with Hoseok here I’ve been so desperately alone. Facing Yoongi, who plays chess like a grand master. And I’m fumbling every turn. The promise of a friend is so tempting.

“Okay,” I say, voice breaking. “Let’s talk.”

“Thank you,” he says, earnest and impossibly handsome. He looks older with a five o’clock shadow across his jaw, his hair tousled instead of neatly cropped. He pulls something from his pocket and holds it out.

I open it, blinking at what I see.

The deed to a house.

In Incheon.

“What? But how—”

“My father disowned me,” he says, speaking faster. “I told him I wasn’t going to give you up. Even though I didn’t know if you’d ever accept me again, I wanted him to know.”

“Oh my God, Namjoon.”

“From there I went to the senator who opposed my father. He lost because he didn’t play dirty. But I know all my father’s tricks.”

My eyes widen.

“You’re going to help someone win against him?”

“No, Jimin. I’m going to run against him. I’m going to win.”

My mouth opens. And closes. I struggle to take in what he’s telling me. “But I don’t understand. The next election isn’t for two years. And how did you get money for a house if your father disowned you?”

“I made a deal with the party. Told them enough so they’d know I was serious. Kept enough back so they’d still need me. And I got an advance on my percentage of the ad buys.”

Shock stops my heart. “No,” I whisper.

“Yes,” he says forcefully. “I know you wanted your mother’s house. I couldn’t get that one, but we can build a life in this one. A new family.”

“A family,” I repeat faintly.

“I needed to show you that I’m serious about this, about us. I need you to know you can trust me now. I’ll never leave you again. We can leave this behind.”

I know I should be moved that Namjoon chose me after all, grateful that he made this gesture even if it wasn’t the one I wanted. But even while I hold the piece of paper, so thin for a document this important, all I can think about is Yoongi—the way he tucked me in.

The way he made me kneel.

Gestures that moved me deeper than I thought possible.

!!~~~~!!

In the next few hours, the landscape of my room changes drastically. Minho insists that Hoseok leave the motel. Any of the ritzy hotels will suffice. Hoseok wants me to come with him, but I decline for the same reason that I wouldn’t go with Namjoon. I want to survive on my own, however painful it is. And it’s pretty painful watching my friend pack his stuff.

“Come with me,” Hoseok says again, eyes imploring.

“I think you just want me as a shield,” I tease him. “I don’t think Minho’s that bad.”

“Um, whose side are you on? He’s awful. And I wouldn’t turn down a shield. Or an entire fortress and drawbridge even. But I want you to come because you’re my friend.”

Impulsively I reach for him, enclosing his slender frame in my arms. “It’s good he came for you. You don’t belong here.”

“You don’t either,” he says, grasping my arms and giving me a little shake. Maybe the old Park Jimin didn’t belong here. The new Jimin doesn’t belong anywhere.

I force a smile.

“Text me. Like every other minute.” And then he’s gone in a black sedan, leaving me with a solemn Namjoon.

Namjoon offered to take me to a hotel, too. Apparently, he’s here on secret business, meeting with some Daegu businesspeople for fundraising purposes. That means he has a suite at the Signiel. He’s made a deal with the devil. We have that in common now.

“You don’t have to stay,” I tell him.

“I’d like to,” Namjoon says. “If you want me to leave, I’ll get another room, but I’d feel better watching over you.”

I glance at the double bed with its rumpled sheets. It was one thing to lie in bed with Hoseok, watching old movies until we pass out sprawled on top of the covers. Another thing to share a bed with the alpha I would have married, the one who dumped me.

The one who wants me back.

And the strangest part is that it feels like a betrayal to Min Yoongi. His hold on me is horrible and inescapable.

“We won’t do anything,” Namjoon says, following my look. “I’ll sleep on top of the covers. With my clothes on.”

I can’t find it in my heart to send him away, not when he’s trying so hard. And maybe there is a chance for us. I loved things about him once—his generosity, the way he made me laugh.

Come to think of it, I loved the same things about him that my mother loved in my father. So that’s how I end up under the sheets, my body frozen in place as the next-door neighbour does her business.

Neither Namjoon nor I have moved for fifteen entire minutes—I’ve been counting. But there’s no way he’s asleep. No way I can sleep with the moaning happening behind the walls.

“Spread them,” a coarse voice says. “Yeah. Fcuk. Wider.”

I’m sure my face would be beet red with embarrassment. At least the lights are off, leaving only the pale wash of moonlight through the curtains. The banging and creaking grows louder and more forceful, vibrations running through the wall and into the loose bed frame we’re in.

God.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “You can leave if you want.”

“No,” he says, his voice strangled. “It’s…Does this happen every night?”

“Pretty much.”

“Why is it…” He swallows audibly. “...so long?”

I want to sink into the ground. “There are…multiple men. I think it’s her job.”

“Oh.”

The silence grows until it’s a dark presence in the room, a counterpoint to the wild sex noises coming from across the wall. I feel like I can barely breathe, the awareness of what’s happening stealing the air.

And the worst part is that I can feel Namjoon move, ever so slightly, as if he’s uncomfortable, as if he can’t help himself.

Finally, he sits up and faces me, his expression hidden in shadows. “Jimin, I can’t hold this in anymore. You’re the most beautiful omega I’ve ever known. I want you so much. Your scent is making me feral.”

I scoot back against the headboard. “What are you doing?”

“I know your first sexual experience was scary, but I swear I would be gentle with you. Let me take care of you. I’ll show you how it can be when you love someone.”

My mouth drops open. “What are you talking about?”

“Min Yoongi,” he says, the name infused with hate. “He hurt you.”

“He didn’t.” At least not the way Namjoon’s implying, with sex.

“I can see it, Jimin. The way you shrink away when you think I might touch you. At least you used to let me kiss you without looking scared.”

“We were engaged then.”

“And we could be again. We should be. We belong together.”

“What does that even mean?”

“We come from the same world. Min Yoongi shouldn’t even be allowed to touch you. And that he bought you like someone on sale. Fcuk, Jimin. Sometimes I want to—”

“Don’t. You don’t get to defend my honour. Not after you left me.”

He relents with a rough sound. “I deserve that.”

The words come tumbling out of me. “And Min Yoongi has his faults, but he’s always been honest. In his own way he’s even tried to help me.”

Something holds me back from telling him about my mother’s diary. As if it’s too private to share with Namjoon.

But not too private for Min Yoongi.

“Help you? God, Jimin. You can’t be that naive.”

The words hit me like a slap. “I’m not.”

“You really don’t know, do you? I wondered if Hoseok told you.”

My blood runs cold. “Told me what?”

“The pictures, Jimin. The naked pictures of you. Everyone in the city has seen them.”

I scramble out of bed, bumping into the nightstand in my desperation. Walking backward until I hit the wall. “You’re lying to me.”

“I saw them.” His laugh cuts through the distance, bitter and toxic. “More of you than I ever saw when we were engaged. How messed up is that?”

I close my eyes. “Stop.”

“No, you’re the one who needs to stop defending Min Yoongi? He used you. He bought you, and then he sold you in the form of pictures to the entire city. Everyone’s looking at them.”

My hands go to my ears in a hopeless attempt to block him out. Tears leak from between my eyelids. This feeling of betrayal shouldn’t be here.

Of course, Yoongi would do this. We’re enemies. Not lovers. And definitely not friends. Those pictures we took upstairs, before the auction. And Taehyung assured me that the pictures weren’t released then.

Which means Min Yoongi only shared them after he bought me, once I was ruined beyond usefulness. One final blow to my family.

Namjoon pulls my hands away, his expression less angry. Still fierce. “It’s okay, Jimin. I understand why you did it. And I forgive you.”

“You…what?”

“I won’t hold it against you. We can still get married.”

The only thing worse than being hurt by your enemy? Being hurt by someone you once considered a friend.

“Get out, Namjoon.”

He pulls back, confusion warring with denial. “What?”

“You forgive me? I didn’t ask for your forgiveness. And I definitely didn’t need your permission.” I may not launch a thousand ships, but I can damn well defend myself. “If you can’t be there when I need you, then you don’t get to be here when I don’t. Leave.”

Only when he shuts the door behind him do I shatter.

!~~~~~!!!!!~~~~~!